Why does supporting women even matter? These are my own professional and personal experiences.
I stopped telling my four daughters they needed to smile.
They all have truly beautiful smiles, but that’s not what it was about. Girls and women should not smile for the wills and wishes and whims of others. Girls should not smile to please others. Girls should not smile to make everyone else feel better about themselves. Full stop. Girls are socially conditioned to believe that it’s their duty to make other people feel better, in a way that is unique to women.
Why does the “Resting Bitch Face” the RBF, exist? It is implied that girls and women should be visually appealing all of the time. Not only that, they should look visually pleased all the time. Women and girls do not owe the world visual stimuli. Full stop. Girls and women do not exist to be the emotional-feel good system for everyone else. They exist with the full range of emotion granted to humans, anger and sadness and annoyance and all.
They can smile when they feel like it, and they should be able to smile for themselves without others thinking it’s an invitation to ask for anything more, not a joke, not a conversation, not a drink, not a heckle, not a catcall, not a touch, not a kiss, not physical or sexual assault.
And I certainly don’t consider it a mark of my parenting ability if my daughters aren’t walking social PR. Full stop. Girls should not smile for anyone but themselves.
Peace & Love,
Kateri
PS – I really love smiling, I love giving and receiving smiles!